Tittle just about says everything. This can be called a rant, but what ever, the 2 friends in this will be refered to as ryou and raito and they know who they are.


I've been planning this 4th of july thingy for about a week, both friends knew about it...or should have known.

That morning i wake up at 7:30 excited, I get up and get dressed start waking my mom up and make the necissary phone calls. First was ryou, didn't pick up. Then was Raito, he's a morning person so he was up and ready to go. I knew ryou wouldn't get up, thats why i told him the day before if he didn't pick up i'd come to his house and pound on the door and wake him up like that. Thats exactly what i had to do, i went there and knocked on the door for about 5mins, when finally she came down and opened the door...as expected she hasn't been awake or any of them hadn't been awake. Which is why i made the plan to leave and pick everyone up around 8 that morning an hour before the parade started, we may not have left our house to start picking up till 8:10 but still i had made preperations for just in case when they didn't get up.

We get to the parade and get are usual spot, we watch the parade but it was really boring, and the floats sucked, and only one of the floats threw candy our way. It was much shorter or it seemed much shorter.

After that ryou practically said they had to go back home, but my mom wanted them to see our new house for a few mins so they came and saw it, and it seemed highly unlikely they that needed to go home right away, but ryou wouldn't make any of the phone calls and so ryou's little bro had to do it. and so they were given a timelimit to stay there till 1.

About 2 and half hours maybe less. First we play dominos cus ryou wanted to know how to play, and i might of been bitchy, but its a really easy game, just count and ryou's little bro just wasn't hearing us right or didn't comprehend english. I won that game of domino's, when it actually comes down to it i'm probaly the most caculating among us, i bet ryou might want to differ becuase...yeah i failed 3 classes at school and she didn't any so she must be smarter....but thats only a few things she smarter then me in, i have my talents and she has her talents.

After domino's i expected her to come sing with me, but no as soon as my mom leaves she goes and sits on my moms bed with her boy friend. After i told her that if we got to hang out she wouldn't spend hardly any time with him. But no...thats the first thing she wanted to do...So i sang by myself for awhile...then when i check again there all playing domino's again...that felt like a betrayle...here they are at my house and they want to play dominos by them selfs. Finally after that she eventually comes in there and we sing a few songs...like maybe....4.....then she suggest strip poker...and i kept saying no but she delt the cards anyway, it was a waist of time all she wanted to do was get raito naked it didn't matter i was there. Then it gets close to the time they have to go, and she did invite me to come be a judge in there cooking contest thing, but...how long had i planed for us to hang out?...how long had her mom been planning this cook of thing...? That i don't know but a week before when i was planning and telling all my friends the plan, she had said nothing about a cook-of. So i didn't go and raito went with her to do that, while i turned in are camera's at walmart and got a few shirts.

I cryed alot afterwards and during, i put so much into this just so we could hang out, and none of it really worked out.
So i go back home and not a single call from her, must of been having so much fun with raito...he is the only person she really wanted to be with. (it doesn't matter what the truth is it matters what i believed the truth was)

So around 6 or 7 i make a phoen call and ask them if there ready to be picked up so we can all go to the park and watch the fireworks at 9.(leave early so we get a good spot), but....the whole judgeing of that cook-of hadn't even started yet...and the woudln't be able to make it.(after alot of phone tag). it was made certain they weren't coming to the fireworks...so i cryed and cryed....and built this tower of domino's and knocked it over with alot of force while i cryed. My mom asked if i was still going, i angrily told her there's no point if there not there, i wanted to see the fireworks with them...thats was the whole point of today. But just like that....my plans were broken. My heart cracked and cryed and cryed and cryed. but ya know they could come over to the old house around 10 and pop some fireworks henry had....but it was past 11 when they showed up and every time i called kept saying they were on the way which ment everytime before was a lie. I had bought some of the popper things that you pull and confetti come out, when they got here found of raito, coudln't find his fire works so it was just the ones i had, were the only kinds we had.

I expected ryou and everyone to come out side but no...ryou goes to my room...ryou's bro sits down for a game as well as raito, and me and ryou's sis are left to pop the stuff. That...was where i drew the line, I expect ryou to come join us but she stayed in my room...my room that had nothing in it, cus we had been moving. so after me and her sister pop them all i go see ryou in my room, and ask her if all she came here to do was hang out in my room, she says she was reading a book so i re-word the question "So you came over to read a book?" with that i told my mom i was ready to go back to the new house, cus there was nothing to do at the old house, i had explained to ryou that i woudln't be staying at the old house, which is why didn't want to go there at all, but ...i don't know...i just don't know

On the way to the house i cryed some more...and some more...and when i got into the house and sat infront of the computer i cryed so more. My thoughts consited of "today i wasn't the one she wanted to spend time with...after all my work...all my planning...she only wanted raito...it didn't matter that i was there..." I kept thinking in japanese...saying my heart was broken or craked and i coudln't stop crying. I took a button of my hat, and slid the pin part across my skin making one cutt...it hurt but...i felt better...alittle...

I cryed some more and some more....and i think i eventually cryed my self to sleep.

Too my 2 friends, talk...type...respond to me...everything in this is the truth as persieved by me. if you have somthing to say, say it to me. we talk...maybe resolve this...but i wont insiate anything, you will have to (if IM) IM me first, comment on here first and i'll comment back.